January 2017 - My Dilemma
So I am currently facing a dilemma within my classroom. This is not a new problem; I have experienced a similar situation for the past three years. I have a child within my care who cannot express his emotions effectively and when he is angry, this results in violent outbursts which are distressing both for him and for the other children in the class.
I have been thinking long and hard about the balance that is required from me in order to care for the child's emotional wellbeing, as well as maintain high expectations of behaviour from all children. I have found that my first reaction is usually to handle the situation as if it were any other child having an outburst - to refer to the behaviour system and use appropriate measures to ensure that consequences are understood.
However, I am always left feeling as if I am not helping this child in the long term. This is problematic for my values, as I believe that first and foremost, children should feel secure and emotionally well.
I have begun thinking about the previous 2 children who exhibited similar behaviour. I have found that there are many similarities between all 3 of them, and this has led me to be very curious as to what is causing these problems and how I might be able to help.
Child A was in a year one class at another school. He had two older brothers, both of whom had diagnosed SEN. I believe that he may too have been experiencing similar issues (namely, dyslexia) and when faced with a reading or writing task, he would react so quickly and violently that I had to learn positive handling strategies in order to protect him and the other children in the class. His self esteem was very low and he began to self-harm to deal with his anger. The schools response was to refer him for in-house counselling with the on site social worker once a week. However, I didn't see a change in his behaviour and I knew that it was up to me to help him. The most effective change I made was to encourage him to take a walk with me, where he would eventually calm down and talk about how he was feeling. I walked many a lap around the playground that year, but finally felt like I was making a difference to a small boy who wasn't feeling heard or supported.
Last year,i had a Child B in my class, who also has an older brother with SEN. The rage that he exhibited was unlike any I had seen before, including hitting and pushing me and extreme outbursts several times a day. He was fixated on routine and required absolute control on his environment. As expected, 25 other 4 year olds are not able to adhere to these strict rules and he struggled to make friends with any of them. Over the course of the year, I tried several different strategies and worked closely with his mum to help him. Similarly to child A, the most effective was giving him my time. We would leave the room and spend some time taking deep breaths. Sometimes this worked, other times it didn't and I had to ask for help from others. However, his behaviour did improve greatly over the year so it is with sadness that I hear that he has slipped back into this pattern in year one.
That leads me onto Child C. He too has an older brother with SEN. It makes me wonder if these children are struggling to have their emotional needs met in homes where their parents are required to pay more attention to their siblings and they start to believe that their feelings have less importance. I think that their issues with control may link to how they have very little control over their home life's, if they are often dictated by the needs of the siblings. Child C has not been particularly violent. But his temper and outbursts happen extremely frequently throughout the day and they are putting a strain on both myself as the class teacher but also on my PaC and the other children as it is very disruptive.
All 3 boys are extremely articulate and bright. They are independent and resourceful children, most likely due to having to manage themselves frequently at home.
So my current dilemma is, how can I help Child C to express himself when he is angry? It is a concern which is very close to my heart, as I suffered from anxiety etc. when I was younger. It is incredibly frustrating to have so many explosive feelings within you and not be able to handle them. I have great empathy with these children and it pulls at my heart when I think about how difficult it must be for them at times.
It is all over the news that mental health education is vital within schools. But this doesn't extend to 4 and 5 year olds. So I'm currently thinking about small changes I can make to help him, and other children with similar problems.
I have been thinking long and hard about the balance that is required from me in order to care for the child's emotional wellbeing, as well as maintain high expectations of behaviour from all children. I have found that my first reaction is usually to handle the situation as if it were any other child having an outburst - to refer to the behaviour system and use appropriate measures to ensure that consequences are understood.
However, I am always left feeling as if I am not helping this child in the long term. This is problematic for my values, as I believe that first and foremost, children should feel secure and emotionally well.
I have begun thinking about the previous 2 children who exhibited similar behaviour. I have found that there are many similarities between all 3 of them, and this has led me to be very curious as to what is causing these problems and how I might be able to help.
Child A was in a year one class at another school. He had two older brothers, both of whom had diagnosed SEN. I believe that he may too have been experiencing similar issues (namely, dyslexia) and when faced with a reading or writing task, he would react so quickly and violently that I had to learn positive handling strategies in order to protect him and the other children in the class. His self esteem was very low and he began to self-harm to deal with his anger. The schools response was to refer him for in-house counselling with the on site social worker once a week. However, I didn't see a change in his behaviour and I knew that it was up to me to help him. The most effective change I made was to encourage him to take a walk with me, where he would eventually calm down and talk about how he was feeling. I walked many a lap around the playground that year, but finally felt like I was making a difference to a small boy who wasn't feeling heard or supported.
Last year,i had a Child B in my class, who also has an older brother with SEN. The rage that he exhibited was unlike any I had seen before, including hitting and pushing me and extreme outbursts several times a day. He was fixated on routine and required absolute control on his environment. As expected, 25 other 4 year olds are not able to adhere to these strict rules and he struggled to make friends with any of them. Over the course of the year, I tried several different strategies and worked closely with his mum to help him. Similarly to child A, the most effective was giving him my time. We would leave the room and spend some time taking deep breaths. Sometimes this worked, other times it didn't and I had to ask for help from others. However, his behaviour did improve greatly over the year so it is with sadness that I hear that he has slipped back into this pattern in year one.
That leads me onto Child C. He too has an older brother with SEN. It makes me wonder if these children are struggling to have their emotional needs met in homes where their parents are required to pay more attention to their siblings and they start to believe that their feelings have less importance. I think that their issues with control may link to how they have very little control over their home life's, if they are often dictated by the needs of the siblings. Child C has not been particularly violent. But his temper and outbursts happen extremely frequently throughout the day and they are putting a strain on both myself as the class teacher but also on my PaC and the other children as it is very disruptive.
All 3 boys are extremely articulate and bright. They are independent and resourceful children, most likely due to having to manage themselves frequently at home.
So my current dilemma is, how can I help Child C to express himself when he is angry? It is a concern which is very close to my heart, as I suffered from anxiety etc. when I was younger. It is incredibly frustrating to have so many explosive feelings within you and not be able to handle them. I have great empathy with these children and it pulls at my heart when I think about how difficult it must be for them at times.
It is all over the news that mental health education is vital within schools. But this doesn't extend to 4 and 5 year olds. So I'm currently thinking about small changes I can make to help him, and other children with similar problems.